Dear God,
Today is Palm Sunday and I confess I wasn’t able to go for church service. I thought I had to find a way to remind myself of this special day and used it to re-connect to you as lately I had been shying away from my time with you. So, I surfed the internet for movies and I got, ‘Passion of the Christ’ made by Mel Gibson in the site eBiblemovies. Com. I told myself, ‘if God could use the donkey to speak to the stubborn Balaam in the old-testament, He could use this movie to speak to me’. I cried and cried watching the movie. I had forgotten this exercise of expressing my emotions for a long time. I am glad I got it back because it made me humane and alive again.
Dear Lord, I know you are the Sovereign Lord, the Great God Yahweh, the Rock and the comforter, while I am just a mere insignificant mortal. If a Holy man like John the Baptist said that he was not fit to untie your sandals, then I am at loss for words to describe myself in front of you. Yet I know that you love me unconditionally, in a way no one can love me and love me enough to sacrifice your life for me on the cross of Calvary. I have so many questions to put to you after watching the scenes in the movie. Would you consider this as a child asking her father to clarify her doubts because no one else can answer her better than Him?
The same crowd that shouted, ‘Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord’, were the ones to cry out aloud, ‘crucify him’ after a few days and as your disciples ran away for dear life. It is so easy to go with the flow and to follow the dictates of the world rather than listening to that gentle ‘tug of the heart’ by the Holy Spirit. You knew this before it happened; you knew that all your disciples will reject you eventually. And you also knew that Peter would deny you three times before the cock crows though he promised to stand by your side till the end (Mark 14:27).Human minds are so fickle and untrustworthy. We give you up so easily when following you requires sacrifices on our part and to get out of our ‘comfort zones’. My question is—how can you still have hope in the human race when we fail you over and over again? How could you still not give up on me when I fail you or deny you or brush away opportunities to serve you many times a day?
The lure of the world for money, greed and power was evident in the life of Judas Iscariot and the so-called High priest who persecute you. Judas traded you for a mere 30 pieces of silver. Obviously, though he had followed you around, he did not realise your worth—that all the money in the world and the world itself could not be traded for what you had to offer. Of course, even to this day, there are so many of us who are nominal Christians—who follow the faith just for the sake of it or because we were born into it. We pray and perform religious rituals without really understand the real meaning or the true greatness of the God that we are worshipping. We have become too lethargic to find time to find the truth. The high priests (religious dictators) were so jealous of you and the command that you have over the people. You gave us ‘love’ over what they gave us ‘laws and rules’. They went all the way to see to it that you get out of their way forever. Yet, in the end, you prayed for them (Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing—Luke, 23:34). Your words are always beautifully reflected in your life and you lived by your words till the very end (But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you—Matthew 5:44). You gave me a glimpse of heaven and eternity when you replied to Pilate, ‘My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.’ It brings to the imagination, the possibility of a world which is not corrupted—a paradise!
I cried aloud at the scene when you were beaten—each lashes were meant for my own sins—so that I can have a chance to attain salvation. You were mocked, beaten up and crucified to save a selfish person like me. Then, it made me think even though I cry now and condemned in my heart the people who chained and tortured their own saviour, if I could travel back in time to the moment, where would I be? Would I be like the members in the crowd who were unable to think on their own and went with the flow? Would I be like the disciples that deny you or the self-righteous Pharisees who crucify you? I like the scene when Simone of Cyrene helped you carry the cross. It made me think that this is what brothers and sisters in Christ ought to do. We each carry our own cross or burden in our walks of life. If we find a fellow-being too weak and bend-down by the weight of the cross, instead of taunting, throwing stones and making it worse for the person, we could always silently helped carry the burden by sharing it.
Coming back to the personalities in the book of the Gospel, I wonder if they were aware that they had the opportunity to play a role in the most important event of all history. Then, I realise that each battle I fought against the evil-forces, against the world and against my own desires are as important an event for you because it determine the kind of legacy that I leave to the world as your child. Can I ask you the most childish question? Dear Lord, you have the power to move heaven and earth and the universe and everything in it moved at your biddings. It is surprising to me as to why you did not use your power to act upon all those who had mocked and tortured you after your purpose was accomplished. I then realise, it is with the same mercy that you have overlooked my sins every day. That is the difference between You and me—You are the good shepherd who lay down His life for His sheep.
Thank you Lord for reminding me yet again that my life has a bigger purpose than what my eyes can see or what I do every day. Thank you for never giving up on me and finding ways to get to me even when I stray and for always reminding me that your love is never far away from me.
